05 Differences in Emotional Expressivity

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[On screen: Differences in Emotional Expressivity]

Professor: Today we're going to talk about emotional expressivity.

And emotional expressivity is one of the things that is more easily misunderstood than many other things in cross-cultural differences. It's very, very easy to interpret different ranges—to misinterpret different ranges of emotional expressivity. OK?

For example, let me put on the board a scale. Let's call this the "emotional expressivity scale” [draws horizontal line on the whiteboard] . And here, let's say we have “low tolerant expressivity” [writes “low tolerant expressivity” above the leftmost side of the line] . And over here we have "high tolerant expressivity” [writes “high tolerant expressivity” above the rightmost side of the line] .

Now, believe it or not, the United States is generally considered to be in the middle. We're in the middle of this scale here [marks the middle of the line] , maybe because we have so much diversity. I had one student that said that I was being prejudiced for the United States; that's why I put them in the middle, because I'm an American. That I just thought the United States was better than everybody else.

Where did I put the United States when it came to materialism?

Female Student: Highest.

Professor: Maybe highest, like off the scale. Now is it really good to be materialistic? I don't think so. OK? But it just happens to be that the United States is in the center.

And so, it might have something to do with the idea, the concept of so many cultures within the United States, because you'll see so many cultures in the United States are all across the board here [gestures to the whole line on the board] .

And so, with low tolerance expressivity, we have most of the countries in Asia [writes “Asia” beneath the line on the leftmost side] . Their culture doesn't permit a lot of public showing of emotion. In other countries, it would be like Scandinavian countries [writes “Scandinavian” beneath “Asia”] . Their cultures don't permit a lot of public showing of emotion.

Now, we're talking about here public showing of emotion. We're not talking about private showing of emotion. OK, we all of the same emotions. We all have the same emotions. That's a cultural universal.

Studies have been done, for example, where—well, I'll talk about the study in a minute. Let me talk about emotional expressivity differences. The study is more meaningful when you see something like this.

Now on this side, you have kind of Hispanic culture [writes “Hispanic” beneath the line on the rightmost side] —high tolerance for emotional expressivity in public.

OK, many of the cultures in the Middle East [writes “Middle East” beneath “Hispanic”] do the same thing. Italy [writes “Italy” beneath “Middle East”] . A lot of places in southern Europe. OK?

Iran [writes “Iran” beneath “Italy”] . Iran's probably considered Middle East. Or it’s close to South Asia as well. So anyway, high tolerance for expressivity in those cultures.

And then within the United States we have huge differences. Oh, by the way, another thing too. The British would probably be, well, England would probably be over here [writes “England” on the left side of line, slightly closer to the middle than “Asia” and “Scandinavian”] .

And, if we look at the United States, we see people in the west, especially Mormons, right in there [writes “West” beneath “England”] . So the in and out of west would probably be over here [gestures to the right of “England” and “West”] , or a little more over here [gestures back to “England” and “West”] .

And then we have New Yorkers here [writes “New York” slightly to the right beneath the middle of the line] . If they were a different ethnic group, they'd be over here [gestures further to the right of the line] . We're talking about broad generalities. There are some New Yorkers that are over here of course [gestures to the furthest left of the line] .

And we'll have like the Southern part of the United States— the South a little bit over here[marks the middle of the line] . The Midwest maybe over here [marks the line slightly to the left of the middle] .

Now, like I said before, we all have the same emotions. And studies have showed that in private we all express our emotions in a similar way. But in public, we're very dissimilar in the way we express our emotions.

For example, a study was done in a classroom showing this real bloody operation. This real bloody, gruesome operation. And the students reactions in the classroom were the reactions that were expected based on their cultural tolerance for expressivity.

For example, people of ethnic groups from over here [gestures to the right side of the line] in the classroom that were viewing that film, they were going, "Ewwww! That is gross! Eww!"

People over here [gestures to the far left of the line] like Asians in the classroom, they were sitting here like this [takes a posture with his hands clasped in front of him] , watching the film.

Professor: Anyway, and then, they gave private viewings of the film. When there's only one person in the room. That person did not know he or she was being filmed. And when the Asians were viewing the film, when they were the only ones in the room, this is how they reacted.

[Makes noises of disgust.]

Professor: In fact, facial expressions for different emotions—for strong emotions—don't change that much from culture to culture.

Now, other things, as far as what indicates a little bit of embarrassment or things like that, the facial expressions might be quite different. But as far as the strong emotions, very little difference cross-culturally, maybe none at all.

And so, it is very easy to misinterpret people's emotions from one culture to another. And we talked before how African-American culture—by the way, African-American culture would be here somewhere [taps the tip of his marker slightly to the right of the middle of the line] , and we talked about how many white people are threatened by African-American expressivity because they misinterpret that as being threatening. As being dangerous.

And so there's a lot of misinterpretation going on from here [indicates a place slightly to the right of the middle of the line] to here [indicates a place further to the left of the middle of the line] , from here [indicates the same space on the left] to here [indicates the space on the right once again] and even here to here [indicates two spaces very close together in the middle of the line] . OK?

A minor reason for the Civil War might have been here to here [indicates two spaces close together at the middle of the line] . OK? Minor reason. The North and the South just didn't decide their economic differences besides the slavery issue. They just didn't like each other. The dance was off. The dance was off.

Now, to give you another thing, too. People over here [indicates the leftmost side of the line] , like I said before, are generally threatened by people over here [indicates the right side of the line] . People over here [indicates the leftmost side of the line] consider people over here to be maybe less civilized [indicates the right side of the line] .

People over here [indicates the leftmost side of the line] consider people over here [indicates the right side of the line] to be maybe more dangerous. And people over here [indicates the leftmost side of the line] consider people over here [indicates the right side of the line] maybe to be less disciplined. Maybe less intelligent.

People from here [indicates the right side of the line] consider people here [indicates the left side of the line] to be boring, dull, and holier than thou. "They think they're better than us!" Fraught with misinterpretation.

Now, even within the United States, I would venture to say that if you have roommates from many different places in the United States, I know some of you have roommates from foreign countries but—if you have roommates from different parts of the United States, I would venture to say there's a significant amount of culturally-created misinterpretation going on. Some of it having to do with emotional expressivity.

And even if you have a fairly good relationship with those roommates, even if you've been friends for a long time, you still might suffer from that.

For example, my wife misinterprets me all the time! Because I'm from Philadelphia, and she's from southern Nevada. Vastly different cultures. She thinks I'm being rude. I'm actually being cool! Nice! She doesn't understand that because our paradigms are different.

OK, for example, I'm going to give you an example right now on cultural misinterpretation and how easy it is to do.

Now, okay, where are you from?

Female Student:Massachusetts.

Professor:OK, good. I thought you were from somewhere out there. Good. I thought you were looking bored, so I thought I'd wake you up.

[Students laugh.]

Professor: Anyway! Being from Massachusetts, you're going to understand me. You're going to understand me.

Now, let's role-play this out. I saw this happen once. I saw this happen once in Philadelphia. And I was, in a sense, the recipient of it, because I was studying languages. And I speak Spanish fluently, then I studied French and German and Portuguese and that sort of thing. The only problem is my French, my German, and my Portuguese are terrible, but I love studying languages. I think French is the most beautiful language there is in the world. It is! It's beautiful. I love studying French.

But anyway, this is before I went on my mission. I learned Spanish on my mission, but I wanted to take French. I spoke Spanish instead. Because French is just, like I said, a beautiful language. In fact, all of you need to study French [several students chuckle slightly] . And you know what? Besides me saying that, Thomas Jefferson also said that. Thomas Jefferson was maybe a little bit smarter than I am.

[Students laugh.]

Professor:So anyway, Spanish is good too. Except Spanish is probably more useful here in the United States than French would be, but French is a very important language. Anyways, you’re going to pretend you’re me and you’re going to go through what I went through. OK?

And I'm the person who's talking to you. Now, it's two Philadelphians. OK? Now, you're going to understand where I'm coming from. A lot of other people won't understand where I'm coming from because you're not from the Northeast. They’re going to interpret me very, very differently.

Alright, now I'm going to go back to my Philadelphia personality. Going back to my way of speech before I became cultured and refined and debonair. Ready? Here we go.

Hey, hey you doing? Hey you doing? Listen, listen, tell me something about you. They tell me you're taking French. You're taking French? What you doing that for? That's like stupid! Listen, listen, listen. Have I ever told you wrong? Huh? Not like once. Not ever! Listen to me. You know, I don't know why you taking French. Take Spanish. You use Spanish all the time around here. How many people? Listen, how many people do you see walking down the street trying to speak French? How many people you see her in Philly walking down the street saying, [speaks French] .

[Students laugh.]

Professor: How many people, huh? How many people? Maybe like none?

[Students laugh.]

Professor: None?

Female Student: [Inaudible.]

Professor: Yeah, you don't speak it very well.

[Students laugh.]

Professor: You go to France and they make fun of you, probably. Yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something. Listen, listen. Drop the stupid French class and take Spanish. How many people you see walking down the street "Hablando español?" huh?

[Students laugh.]

Professor:Maybe like half the people in the city, huh? I think so! Listen, listen. It's like more than half! I mean, all over the place, ya know? Let me tell you something, let me tell you something. Listen. Drop this student French class and take Spanish. I can't believe you're taking French, for Pete's sake. That's stupid.

Now, are we now enemies for life? No! What am I to her, basically? A good friend! I'm a good friend. And after that conversation, she's not going to be mad at me at all. She's not going to be mad at me at all. Like I wasn't mad at the person being mean to me because I wanted to take French. OK?

I appreciated his advice, even though I thought he was wrong. [He laughs.]

And that's the way good friends talk to each other. Now, if that were to happen in the southern part of the United States, them would be fightin' words!

[Students laugh.]

Professor: It'd be the Hatfields and the McCoys all over again. That’s exactly what it would be. Let me tell you something. For example, in the south, they would handle that by saying it somewhat differently.

For example, let me just pretend we're in the south here and I'm going to talk to you about your choice in languages that you want to study. You know, this is how they handle it in the south.

You know, French is a fine language. Fine, fine language. I'm sure there's many, many fine folks who take French. Fine folks. You know, we owe a lot to France, actually. You know that Lafayette fella? I mean, we wouldn't have a country today. You know, the British would've beaten us.

But that Lafayette fella, he saved us. And them good folks in France, they blockaded Yorktown, you know what I mean? The British couldn't get there. The supplies. That was good. And I like the French. They're fine folks. Helped us in the Revolution.

But, you know, how many of those good Hispanic folks do you see coming up here? A whole bunch, right? Yeah, they help us on our tobacco farms and other stuff. They get the crops in. I don't think we could make it without them. They're real helpful. I appreciate them very much.

How many Hispanic folks do you see here besides French folks? Do you think there's more Hispanic folks here than French folks?

Female Student: Probably.

Professor: Yeah, I think so myself. I think so myself. Yeah, I think there’s more Hispanic folks here than French folks. I'm just wondering if maybe, y’all should consider taking Spanish, so you can communicate with those good folks from Mexico and other places that come up here. It might be good to know some Spanish, don't you think?

But French is a fine, fine language.

That's what they do in the south.

[Students laugh.]

Professor: Trying to accomplish the same goals, but different levels of expressivity allowed. Different tolerances. So you have to work within those tolerances.

And so, it leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation. Another thing too, these ranges of tolerances, as well as other cultural things, are passed down from generation to generation to generation. Almost from time immemorial, and it's very hard to change these things. Especially when people stay in the same culture all their lives.

For example, it is well known that Mormons of the Intermountain West area, generally speaking, low expressivity. Except in testimony meeting!

[Students laugh.]

Professor: Apparently, they are considered low expressivity. OK? Whereas people in other parts of the country—even southerners are higher expressivity than Mormons in the Intermountain West. And there’s many reasons for that. One of the reasons is we are more—oh, here is the roll for the seventeen of you that came in late today [ Professor lifts a sheet of paper from a table and places it back down again] .

[Students laugh.]

Professor: Yeah, and where was I? Mormons. That’s right. Testimony meeting, that’s right.

What are the reasons we Mormons are lower expressivity than others is because we're more group oriented than others. Sometimes group orientation tends to bring on lower expressivity, and at the same time, most of these people are more group oriented than Americans are. So, it doesn't always do that.

And another reason, too, for that… How many of you are western Mormons? Raise your hands [the Professor and several students raise their hands] . Put your hands down if this does not apply to you. Keep your hands up. OK, I’m done [the Professor lowers his hand, the students keep them raised] . Everybody look at how many hands are raised. Lower your hand if you don't have any British or Scandinavian ancestry. Okay, only two hands went down.

Almost all western Mormons have British or Scandinavian ancestry. Scandinavian meaning Denmark, Norway, Sweden, those places.

Basically anyone who is a Hansen, a Nielsen, a Christensen, a Sorenson, a Rasmussen, and on and on. Nielsen with all its diverse spellings are all Scandinavian, OK? And there's many British people. The vast majority of early converts of the church were from Great Britain and Scandinavia. A majority of us, plus the people that lived in New York state were mostly British.

Female Student: I think this is part of the reason why people think that those from Utah are “holier than thou.”

Professor: That's probably one of the reasons, absolutely. Mormons go out of their way, there are, of course, some Mormons that aren't holier than thou, but Mormons go out of their way to try to project a good image. I know I do. I think the rest of you do, too.

We're very, very image conscious, and we want to make sure people think we're nice people and not strange. Since we have a reputation for being weird, and so we want to let everybody know we're nice folks and that I think sometimes people misinterpret us because of that.

And see, these go from generation to generation to generation subconsciously.

For example, we still have the Puritans deep down inside of us. There are things in the south (which you're going to read in "Outliers") that have been passed down way back since Scotland. The majority of people living in the south have some Scotch/Irish heritage in them. And there are things that happened way back even before America was discovered by the Old World that you see in the south today that were not taught by anybody's moms or dads. They were passed down subconsciously, through the culture.

And so, most of Intermountain West Mormons have Scandinavian/British culture deeply embedded within them, even though they were never explicitly taught that.

Now! If so, you can see the huge possibilities for misinterpretation. Another thing too, is that, for example, in Iran, I think we talked about this once before, in Iran, they have a long tradition of eloquent and dynamic speech. Emotion filled eloquent speech. And many other parts of the world that's the case too.

For example, if you're going to a sacrament meeting in any place around here [indicates the right side of the line] , there's less of a chance you're going to be bored than you would if you went from here or here [indicates the left side of the line] , because the people put more emphasis on emotion-filled, interesting speech.

In North Carolina, my son is in the bishopric in North Carolina in his ward, and I visit his ward occasionally, there's some African-Americans in that ward, and when they bear their testimony, everybody pays attention, because they're dynamic! They talk about interesting things. They're powerful because they have a tradition of that in their cultures.

There's, in fact, there are African-Americans that get up and say, "Brothers and sisters, I just want to sing my testimony to you today." And they'll sing this old black spiritual, OK? And again, that gets everyone's attention.

Then there's some old white southerners out there in the audience that's like, "They supposed to do that? I don't think that's appropriate! I don't think that's in the handbook!"

[Students laugh.]

Professor: But again that's a culture conflict! A clash!

Again, negative interpretation going on. When the African-Americans are expressing their spiritual feelings.

Now, and I wonder sometimes if when we teach and we preach, sometimes I wonder if we need to be a little bit more dynamic in the way we do things.

Alright, now in Japan however—oh, by the way, you'll see, in Japan, there's very little public showing of emotion, and there's very little public showing of romance and things like that too in Japan. For example, you very rarely see Japanese people showing affection in public. It happens, but if you go back thirty years, it'd be unthinkable. Thirty/forty years ago, it'd be unthinkable. Now there's more because of the westernization of the world, there's more Japanese showing public affection.

But if you're ever in a foreign country, notice what everyone else is doing before you show public affection for your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever. Make sure you see if that public affection is being shown by others because if you were in Japan seventy years ago, seventy/eighty years ago, actually, seventy years ago there wouldn't be good for you in Japan because they would be fighting us in World War II.

Anyway! Sixty to eighty years ago, if you were holding hands with your spouse in public, people would be shocked. And you'd have a very, very negative image there.

And I wonder, again, there is public showing of affection in Japan now, but probably nowhere near as much as here. And I wonder when these Japanese members of the church come here to BYU-Idaho and they see what goes on in August on the grass on the quad out here between males and females. Some of which, I, as an American, think is inappropriate.

Look at how they judge American Mormonism. How they misinterpret American Mormonism. They might think that we're loose sexually because of the public showing of affection.